Monday, November 30, 2015

50 Shad3s: Chapter 12

So lots of writers--most obviously on tv--will have a couple of stories going so that they can build tension in one by switching over to the other. Pretty effective! EL tries to do a similar thing sometimes only she doesn't have two plots. Barely one. So instead what she does is just have the characters go do some pointless shit for a while in a section that really feels like fanfic inside fanfic because after a bunch of moping around, Ana and CG are going to fly out to Aspen for an unrelated adventure.


But first! Remember that cliffhanger from the previous chapter? Where we learned that Jack Hyde and CG were both born in Detroit? And thus Maybe Jack Hyde is CG's dad? Or long-lost brother? Or just the guy who murdered CG's mom? Srsly. That's a thing now. EL has put a loaded gun onstage and it's going to go off before this book ends. Plus there's also the literal loaded gun. So there's going to be an intersection of the literal loaded gun and the metaphorical loaded gun and that is how this terrible book is going to end. The death of Jack Hyde will prove, once and for all, that Ana and CG are great for each other. Does this make any sense to you? No? Weird. I don't know why. It makes total sense to me. I know lots of couples who've been brought together by one of them shooting a third person. Really tends to help people through tough times.

But wait. Where were we?

Friday, November 13, 2015

50 Shad3s: Chapter 11

Ana and Christian kinda start having sex but more end up not because they're still in the middle of  a fight.

Good news, everyone! I bought every James Bond movie on itunes the other night so expect me to finally get back to that, about a year after I started it. Timely! Right? Yes v.

I'm sorry about the increasingly erratic publishing schedule. But hey. Better than nothing, right? Right? Kinda? A little bit, at least, huh? Sure. I'm just kind of determined to finish this, beyond any sense of logic. I should've quit a long time ago, but here I am!

It looks like this chapter is going to contain a few more nonsense revelations about CG's mysterious spooooooky past! So that's super exciting and all. Right? Yes. Also: there's some sex in this chapter. And a lot of just super boring food stuff and a lot of Ana being unable to follow the plot. Good times!

But wait. Where were we?