Sunday, November 3, 2019

El Misterino: Chapter 4

I'm real irritated about the demise of Deadspin so I'm going to try to write more. The internet is an increasingly worthless place and I'm not doing much to help that. But every little bit helps or something, probably, right? So let's see if I can stick to it!

To recap? this book is about our primary narrator--Max--and his journey from playboy to patriarch. He's going to assume the mantle of head of the family--a role thrust upon him by his older-brother's death. He's also going to quit boning down with his dead brother's widow, which will symbolize his newfound respect for the family unit.

He's also going to marry his housekeeper. You see, it's incorrect for a patriarch to be paying a lady to do domestic labor. Instead, he's going to marry her, because the patriarch is a sort of pre-capitalist institution that ought not be sullied by things like wages and market forces.

Oh and of course his housekeeper is from Eastern Europe. This is about rehabilitating British colonialism. But see, she's from a white person so it's good, right guys? It's fine and good now, right?

On the one hand, I'm saying all this because it seems silly to do all this half-assed marxism, but also I believe it's completely correct.

At first, I thought that the death of Max's brother was merely about proving to the reader that this was a different book from 50 Shades. I still think that that's a significant element, of course. But I also now think it's an important plot detail. It's the true inciting event in our story, as the end of the book is just going to be TADA! max is now comfortable in his duty as an old-timey aristocrat, and this all would've been his brother's job had he not died.

I'm honestly a little disappointed to have cracked this one so early. I hope we get some weird complications along the way. After all, EL does introduce a "villain" of sorts in the second book of her 50 Shades trilogy. So maybe we'll get some other curveballs thrown at us, and that could be fun. But I'm pretty confident in my assumptions about the general plot.

And, our heroes are only finally meeting in chapter four. And not cute!

--So how did you two meet?
--Well get this! She was my housekeeper!
--(Takes imaginary call on phone. Leaves party.)